Boys are beyond the range of anybody's sure understanding, at least when they are between the ages of 18 months and 90 years.
James Thurber
So while trying to escape from my own Twilight Zone. I discovered writing. Writing, like anything else, improves with time. as I look back on my earlies pieces they are drab. Then I discovered my inner curmudgeon. When you thing about it, the curmudgeon is a uniquely American character. Where else do you find the lovable grouch. From Groucho to Archie Bunker.
This keeps me communicating with people. This got me out of the Twilight Zone.
I have this "pipedream" that some editor will stumble upon "Memoirs of a Disgruntled Attorney," maybe find the story of Flicker the Flea," or "Canad's New Immigration Problem," and say, "that's what we need a new uniquely American Humorist."
Until that time, I'll just keep myself laughing, it's the one medicine that I take that has no side effects.
For now here is Flicker the Flea
__________________________________________________________________________________________________
Fate of a Flicker the Flea
Freddie was despondent. His lead act in his Flea Circus, Flicker had flown off. He was also fearful that the infamous flea who had been all over the News, was his Flea Flicker.
He had trouble fathoming why flicker had flown. He turned on CNN. "This is Soladad O'Brien in New York, with the latest facts regarding the fearless flea that bit the President's Dog. The flea is feared to be the famous Flicker from the Freddie Fitzpatrick Flying Flea Circus. We now join Anderson Cooper with Federal Bureau of Investigation spokesperson, Felicia Fender with further details.
"Agent Fender, forgive my forgetfulness, but I was under the impression that the FBI had jurisdiction of Flea felonies in the Federal District since the misfortune of FDR's feline Felicity and his dog Fala were ferociously fed to the Fleas back in 44."
A fumbling Federal Agent Fender replied, "The Feds are still finding facts. We fanned a far-flung facsimile of the Flea to all Federal Facilities. This is just a formality, for we expect to find the fallen Flea in the forenoon.
Fitzpatrick was fearful about the fate of his fearless Flea. He switched his Television to Fox.
"This is Sean Hannity with a follow up about the Flea that the FBI is now following who allegedly made Flea food of Fido. We're here with Ann Coulter, who would like to affirm her feelings on the fate of Fido."
"Sean, this emphatically a foreign Flea from the Federation, formerly known as Formosa. The fate of Fido came forth because we don't forbid Fairs that fund Flea Circuses from farming out their jobs to felonious foreign Fleas flying from the former Formosa. New Flea Circuses should be formed featuring flag waving Fleas from the Flea Partiers."
Freddie fretted and then flung his female feline, Felicia at the foul mouthed figure featured on Fox Channel 44.
He found the Television Flicker and turned on his favorite female reporter Rachel Maddow.
"Fox is reporting that this is a Felonious Foreign Flea from the Federation formerly known as Formosa. I have found out that this is a folly formulated by Famous Fleabagger, Frank Funt. This Flea was found to be a front for Fox and friends." Film of Frank Funt feeding his fat face with a Frankfutter was then featured.
Freddie, couldn't follow this farce any further so he found his forty-four, and with one ferocious fit, fired it at the farce., while yelling the word his father, Freddie the first had forbidden him to say.
No comments:
Post a Comment