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Thursday, April 28, 2011

April 26, 2011. The Eveready Rabbit

My wife thinks that I am obsessed about walking, past the point where it is necessary. She probably is right.

I have been exhausted the past two weeks and it is directly attributable to my obsessive walking. I don't know if I can stop or even slow down.

I'm running from a stalker. When I first was diagnosed, the depression had me resigned to believe that I only had a few good years left. I was obviously wrong.

There is a short window of time when I can take advantage of the weather. In the winter, my clumsiness makes the ice treacherous. In the summer, one of the effects of the Parkinson's is the "flop-sweats." They seem to be starting early this year. In the spring and the fall New York is lovely. So instead of my one mile a day, I've often stretched it to Two to Three miles. I avoid the subway, unless I'm exhausted, or it's a long trip.

I don't know what the answer is. I've been exhausted the last few weeks. I can fall asleep anywhere, at my desk, on the train, in a meeting. This is not good for my career.

Yet what is the alternative. It's not in my nature, to acknowledge that I can't do something. The thought of giving up is repugnant to me. Yet it hurts. The clumsy, almost Frankenstein like style of walking, puts a great strain on the neck, back and knees.

I'll probably just keep on going.

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