February 8, 2011. The Times they are a Changin'

The last few days, I've noticed minor changes in the control of my body.

My involutary step backwards, has become fore frequent. I call this my moonwalk. I've experienced more difficulty getting up from chairs. Putting on my socks has become increasingly more difficult. The upside is. that I can still so the mile in under 4 minutes (with a car, of course).

I probably just need an adjustment on my medications. It has been about a year and one half since they've been adjusted. I have an appoinment with my Neurologist in early March, so we'll discuss it then.

I wonder when standing waiting for a train, staggering backwards, how many people think that I'm drunk. I pretty much given up drinking. On occasion I may have one glass of wine, and then only if my wife is with me, and she is driving.

I never was much of a drinker. I don't like beer. I think that I've only been seriously drunk once. September 18, 1981, Simon and Garfunkel in Central Park. I bought three bottles of wine for $5.00. My friends were late. I proceeded to drink one and a half bottles. Somewhere between Joe DiMaggio, going away and signs of the Prophets being written on the Subway walls, I didn't feel to Groovy. If I didn't have to meet Julio, down by the schoolyard, I might have gone Homeward Bound.

This comes at the same time that I've decided to give up one of my medications. Mirapex, has been known to exacerbate obsessive qualities. I don't gamble, I don't smoke, I barely drink. I eat sweets. Too many of them lately. As bad as Parkinson's is, heart disease or diabetes are probably worse.

February 3, 2011. Baby you can drive my car

In High School, driving did not come easy to me. It was not natural and I was extremely nervous. But once I got the feel of it, the fear was gone. I would drive anywhere. Weekend trips to the Carolinas , overnight trips to Cooperstown, day trips to southern Vermont.

It now is sometimes difficult for me to get comfortable in a car. What had become instinctive, no longer was. I find that Parkinson's robs me of many of my instinct. I have to think about things that once came naturally.

Now I find that the best time for me to drive is between 12:30 PM and 4 PM. I have the proper balance of medications, hence, I'm comfortable and confident.

On a winterly day, about six months after the diagnosis, I was driving to my dentist. The traffic on the Northern State Parkway was stop and go. While moving along at snail's pace, I was hit from behind. After being hit, for some reason I couldn't get my right foot to move to the brake. Hence I hit a van in front of me. The second collision was so minor that there was no damage to either car. The first collision was clearly not my fault.

The young girl who hit me, sustained the greater damage to her car. My car had a minor dent, that I didn't pursue.

What concerned me then, and concerns me to this day, was my slow reaction time.

I was a Third baseman. I was a Hockey Goaltender. My reactions were terrific. A reaction like that should be instinctive. To this date 5 years later, it was a one time occurrence, that I don't want to test again.

My driving habits have changed considerably. I never drive at night, I try to avoid driving in inclement weather. I clearly am not aggressive on the roads. If I'm being tailgated, I get out of the way. If there is the slightest chance of my having to drive, I won't have as much as one glass of wine.

My car has over 200,000 miles on it. It's the last car that I will ever own. I don't drive that much anymore. Although I had come to enjoy driving, I don't miss driving per se. I miss the freedom that results from having that option. I will never again drive to the Carolinas, with the full Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel collection playing on the CD. I will never again wake up on a Saturday morning and say, "Let's drive up to Newport for dinner."

I also realize that there are far worse problems than not being able to go to Newport for dinner. All in All, I've been lucky. Mass transit in NYC is very convenient.

The subways have signs posted saying, "No spitting, $100.00 fine." Since Parkinson's makes it difficult to spit, look at all the money that I've saved.

January 17, 2011, Castles in the Air

Yesterday, as I sat on the bus crossing over the 59th Street Bridge, I could see the United Nations Building, The Empire State Building, The Woolworth Building and my favorite The Chrysler Building. I came to the realization of something that I have known for many years. New York City is the only place in the world for me to live. On the bridge, my mind can hear the sounds of Simon and Garfunkel, my "home-boys" from Forest Hills. I realized that three of the aforementioned buildings, were at one time, the tallest building in the world.

New York City also affords me the opportunity to keep my business running. I have become dependent upon the subways, the rails and the buses. No other city in this country has a mass transit system like New York.

On April 16, I will be participating in a walk for a cure for Parkinson's disease. The walk takes place in Central Park. This could be my favorite spot in the world. A lush green oasis in the middle of a beautiful concrete jungle. The Park is gorgeous in April. The response to join grouchomarc's team (appropriate name, don't you think?) has been overwhelming. As I'm writing this a friend of mine gave me an idea, fake nose, mustache and glasses for all. If you want to join me, load your ipod with Simon and Garfunkel and come on down.

I have wonderful friends, I have a wonderful family, I live in the best place in the world. I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone, but it does make me appreciate how lucky I truly have been.

November 28, 2010. Go Ask Alice.

One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
(White Rabbit, by Grace Slick, 1967)

I'm not somebody who likes taking drugs. I've been drunk once in my life. That was 1981, Simon and Garfunkel in Central Park. I smoked pot, maybe 5 times. Decided that I was acting ridiculous, and never did it again. I have never held a conventional cigarette in my hands, let alone my mouth. My drug of choice was always chocolate.

So now as I line up my prescriptions in the morning, the thought goes through my mind, do I really need these?

The first prescription that I had was for Mirapex. This was to control the very slight tremor that I had in my hand and the more prominent tremor in my legs. Mirapex has been known to have many side effects. The most serious is obsessive behavior. People have claimed to develop serious gambling habits on Mirapex. I have notice some obsessions. I nosh (snack for all of you unfamiliar with everyday Yiddish), far too much.

Mirapex also causes some people to act out their dreams. It's dangerous for me, since I dream predominantly about sports. As I've already stated, I've slid into bases, taken jump shots and shot a hockey puck in my sleep.

Mirapex also makes one sleepy, so I've avoided raising the dosage. About 3 years ago, I started taking an Israeli drug called Azilect. I was told that it had incredible results with no known side effects. The results were very good and until I researched this I was unaware of any side effects. My right eye tears quite a bit and I get neck pains. I just learned that these can be caused by the Azilect.

In addition to those medications, I now take what is considered to be "the gold standard," for Parkinson's patients Sinemet. It has done wonders. Except for increase sleepiness, I've notice no side effects. However, the side effects don't necessarily occur quickly. Increased dosages of this drug, which becomes needed, because it wears off earlier as time goes on, can cause Dyskenesia, or involuntary movements. These movements are what Rush Limbaugh, ignorantly, mocked, when describing Michael J. Fox.

So for somebody who hates medications, although I don't feel like I'm addicted, I am dependent. It's been nearly 5 years since I've gone a day without medication. The question occurs to me, "Do I even know what the side effects are, or do I need somebody who has known and seen me prior to taking these drugs, to tell me if they've affected my behavior?"