February 11, 2011. I'll be back

There are days that I forget how I used to feel.

Was it ever normal not to take medications to get started in the morning?

Was there a time that I could sit at my desk without my legs shaking?

Did I ever stand still? Now it seems that any time that I attempt to stand still, I step backwards.

Was my handsriting ever legible?

Did I ever get up from a chair without a struggle?

Obviously the answers are yes. Although, I've been optimistic, there are those days, that the frustration, of realizing that these simple things are all history, gets to me.

Yesterday was such a day. I had two appointments. That's good. They were both at the same local, my old office in Syosset, that too is good. However, I took the subway to the train and the train to Syosset. While standing on the freezing platform, I remembered making that drive 250-300 days a year, for more years than I can remember.

So I felt sorry for myself. It happens every once in a while.

Today my goal must be to "snap out of it." Remember that I'm still working. That I have friends, that allow me to use their offices, where I can see clients, and remain vital.

So today I will think about the fact that I had two appointments yesterday, that will generate work, which will generate income.

Nearly six years after being diagnosed, I'm still working full time. Although I must rely upon others, I stil mostly rely upon myself. I'm lucky that I have those others to rely upon when needed.

Yes, I have difficulties, and yes I will occasionally be down, but I'm granting each of you the license to say,
"wake up," when I do go through a period like that.

December 8, 2010. Taking Care of Business

From June 1985 until June 2008, I conducted my business out of my own office. As the end of my last lease was nearing, it became apparent that it was imprudent to renew. I was often taking the train in order to avoid the 50 mile round trip commute. My office mates moved and took my name with them. Luckily they moved closer to the train. So with my old mates, in Syosset, and good friends in Merrick, I had two sets of dear friends allowing me access to their offices.

So now, I drive when I have to, take the train when I can. I don't look like your typical Attorney. Instead of an attach case, I carry my files and computer in my back pack.

Because of the help that I've received from my friends , my business has functioned pretty much as it did before.

There was a time that I had a photographic memory. I had what I described as a file cabinet in my head. I remembered everything. Unfortunately I'm stuck with 35 millimeter head in a digital world. Computer programs like "Log-me-in" and Outlook have made my computer a virtual office.

I'm not convinced that my memory issues have anything to do with Parkinson's Disease. I think it's a function of age and the fact that I just have so much RAM in my head.

I never loved what I did for a living until I thought that I might not be able to do it anymore. Now unless I find something more challenging, i will continue to do this for a long time. I'm convinced that one's physical well being is directly related to one's mental well being. As long as I continue to feel vital there is no way that Parkinson's can get the best of me.