January 19, 2011. To be a Curmudgeon or not to be a Curmudgeon, that is the Question.

I've found my smile. Parkinson's may make it difficult to physically exhibit the smile, but it's there.

"We have two lives... the life we learn with and the life we live after that. Suffering is what brings us towards happiness."
— Bernard Malamud (The Natural)

I've used that quote before, but I think that it is particularly pertinent to this entry. i spent much of my younger days cultivating the image of the curmudgeon. I suppose in some immature way that i wanted attention. getting Parkinson's helped to put things in perspective.

"What did you learn, Dorothy?" I learned that people want to be empathetic. However, they will only be empathetic to those whose problems are real and who those people who help themselves. When I was so consumed in my own imagined issues, i did not realize how good I truly had it, I was boring.

What changed? Parkinson's, strangely is the life that I will live with. It's not so bad. I have a very supportive family, more friends then you can shake a stick at (which is good, because they used to get pissed when I'd shake a stick at them), and a good life.

We all have problems. The people that you want to associate with do not let their problems consume their existence.

November 15, 2010

If there is a bright side to this ailment, I think for me it is for me, that I'm in many ways happier than I've been throughout my adulthood.

During my twenties and thirties I was often sullen and moody. I never realized how lucky I was.

With Parkinson's came a catharsis. At first I was depressed, but one day I snapped out of it. I suddenly realized that it was a waste of time.

There is a line in Bernard Malamud's The Natural, "We have two lives... the life we learn with and the life we live after that. Suffering is what brings us towards happiness." For the most part I agree. However "the life we learn with" never ends.

Today, as you can tell is a good day. I'm going to take advantage of it.