January 23, 2011. Remember that Hope is a Good Thing

Remember that hope is a good thing, Red, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. (Rita Hayworth and The Shawshank Redemption by Stephen KIng.)

I look forward to writing these essays every morning. Honestly, I often don't have an idea until I sit down at the keyboard. Other times, like today, I hear or read a line in a movie or a book and it wakes me up.

Hope is a good thing! When I was first diagnosed I was sad, morose, melancholy. (Remember that I'm still a Lawyer. Three adjectives is par.) One day something awakened me, to the realization, that this is not going away. Therefore, I can accept it for what it is and enjoy the rest of my life, or continue on a downward path. For once in my life I chose the right route.

I realize that my words alone or, even better, Stephen King's words are not going to stop a depression. If you've got it, you've got to fight it. Don't ever get used to it. There are people depending upon you just to be you.

So hope is a good thing. I can hope that they find a cure, if not for me, for the one's that follow. I can hope that the progression of the disease continues slowly. I can hope that it never again takes my spirit from me. Without my spirit, I don't enjoy my own company. I can only imagine how I must have made others feel.

The movie, "The Shawshank Redemption," had another memorable quote, "Get busy living, or get busy dying"

So I'm 54 years old. I don't particularly like what I do for a living, but because there are those who question whether I physically can do it, I will not stop. I will do it until I find something better.

I would love to write. I'd love to take what is now a wonderful hobby and make it into my vocation. I don't know how good I am. Many of these pieces are redundant. But I have hope, and hope is a good thing. And I'm going to get busy living.