The diagnosis was a long journey. After realizing that there was something amiss I saw five different doctors.
The first Doctor was my GP, Dr. Chico.
Dr. Chico: So Whatsa mattta?
M: It's my handwriting Doc. It's getting small.
Dr. Chico: Write a me something.
So I proceed to write the entire "Why a Duck" routine.
Dr. Chico: I can't a read that.
M: See I told you that it's too small.
Dr. Chico; No I just can't a read. I'm a gonna send you to my Brother Dr. Gummo. But first you pay a the bill. Let's a see. Yesterday we no see you, that's three hundred dollars. Today we examine you...
M: That's One Hundred that you owe me.
Dr. Chico: I bet I'm a gonna lose on the deal.
Dr. Gummo, was a renowned hand surgeon, who confirmed that I have two hands. He send me to Dr. Zeppo.
Dr. Zeppo, an orthopedist, didn't like the way his Brothers were treating him in the practice, so after my short visit he quit. But before he quit he sent me to Dr. Harpo.
M: Dr. I'm having trouble with my hand. If you would stop chasing the nurse and take a look, I'd appreciate it.
Dr. Harpo: Honk
Dr. Harpo proceeds to kick me in the behind, pick my pocket, and play the harp for ten minutes, before sending me to Dr. Groucho a Parkinson's specialist.
After using his cigar for light, and asking me how I did in the Kentucky Derby. Dr. Groucho was ready to address the issue.
Dr. Groucho: You have PD. Now isn't is a PD that you didn't come to see me before.
He then gave me a cube of sugar, some horse pills and sent me galloping away.
Now you may believe that this story is fictional and my object to the innuendo.
But that's just like I've always said, "Love flies out of your door, when money comes innuendo."
Showing posts with label Marx Brothers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marx Brothers. Show all posts
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, December 9, 2010
December 9, 2010. Mean Mr. Mustard
Something has loosened the filter in my mind that made me hesitant to speak my mind.
There was a time that I had a long fuse, but when it blew, watch out. But now whether it's age, almost 30 years of law, or the realization of mortality that a major neurological disease gives you, I no longer loose my cool. I'll say what's on my mind, with less hesitancy and far more sarcasm.
The sarcasm was always there. One doesn't watch every Marx Brothers' Movie multiple times without a little Groucho rubbing off. But I was hesitant about speaking my mind. Something happened.
There's something about coming to the realization that someday all of this will end, that gives one license to speak up.
I've become a lovable curmudgeon. So far, I've gotten away with it, but how long can that last?
I think that it's time to move on to the next role, "avuncular sage." Stay tuned. I'll be back tomorrow, same bat time, same bat station.
There was a time that I had a long fuse, but when it blew, watch out. But now whether it's age, almost 30 years of law, or the realization of mortality that a major neurological disease gives you, I no longer loose my cool. I'll say what's on my mind, with less hesitancy and far more sarcasm.
The sarcasm was always there. One doesn't watch every Marx Brothers' Movie multiple times without a little Groucho rubbing off. But I was hesitant about speaking my mind. Something happened.
There's something about coming to the realization that someday all of this will end, that gives one license to speak up.
I've become a lovable curmudgeon. So far, I've gotten away with it, but how long can that last?
I think that it's time to move on to the next role, "avuncular sage." Stay tuned. I'll be back tomorrow, same bat time, same bat station.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
November 23, 2010
For those of you younger than 45, I think that I should explain the title to the blog, "But This is the Hand that I shoot with." It's me remembering a line wrong from "Blazing Saddles." "Blazing Saddles" is widely considered one of the funniest movies ever made. Clevon Little plays Bart, Gene Wildler is The Waco Kid.
Bart: (disbelieving) The Waco Kid. He had the fastest hand in the West.
The Waco Kid: In the world.
Bart: Well, if you're the Kid, then show me something.
The Waco Kid: Well, maybe a couple of years ago, I could have shown you something, but today, look at that. (He holds up his right hand - and it is steady without shaking)
Bart: Steady as a rock.
The Waco Kid: Yeah, but I shoot with this hand. (His left hand shakes wildly)
I've often used this gag when I discuss my Parkinsons.
It makes me laugh. My choice is either be depressed or make jokes. I choose to make jokes.
It may be a defense mechanism, but it keeps me from being morose and in turn making others morose.
Everybody has difficulties that they deal with. Some deal with them better than others. I see no problem talking about your problems, if that is what you choose to do, without complaining about them.
I love humor. I can watch The Marx Brothers, Sid Caesar, Chaplin over and over again. At my lowest moments they can snap me out of it. Laughter is a great cure.
Bart: (disbelieving) The Waco Kid. He had the fastest hand in the West.
The Waco Kid: In the world.
Bart: Well, if you're the Kid, then show me something.
The Waco Kid: Well, maybe a couple of years ago, I could have shown you something, but today, look at that. (He holds up his right hand - and it is steady without shaking)
Bart: Steady as a rock.
The Waco Kid: Yeah, but I shoot with this hand. (His left hand shakes wildly)
I've often used this gag when I discuss my Parkinsons.
It makes me laugh. My choice is either be depressed or make jokes. I choose to make jokes.
It may be a defense mechanism, but it keeps me from being morose and in turn making others morose.
Everybody has difficulties that they deal with. Some deal with them better than others. I see no problem talking about your problems, if that is what you choose to do, without complaining about them.
I love humor. I can watch The Marx Brothers, Sid Caesar, Chaplin over and over again. At my lowest moments they can snap me out of it. Laughter is a great cure.
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