I don't write like I used to do. That's because of a myriad of reasons 1) There is little more to say that hasn't been said by me or somebody else before; 2) When I started writing I was inspired. I would wake up in the morning with an idea, and watch it take life as it was being written. Like many things in my life, I'm not as excited now; 3) It's more difficult for me to do it.
Number 3 hurts. I walk slower, I work slower and at times I think slower. When I was younger, the people who worked for my father would test me doing double digit multiplication in my head. Most time I could have the answer before they keyed it into the calculator. Now, as a function of age, I don't expect to be that fast, but I'm slower than I expected. This bothers me. Sure, because I have good moments and bad moments (Now is a particularly good moment.) and I still deny that Parkinson's has slowed my mind, but, it has.
Is it worse to have your body fall apart or your mind? With Parkinson's you may get both.
Although I love the law, I hated being a Lawyer. The training was the right training for me. I taught me how to think, but then it sent me into a world of Lawyers. I just had an image of Rod Serling in the opening for the Twilight Zone.
" Submitted for your approval, one Marc Sherman, an affable fellow about to enter a world of pompous, arrogant people. He's is entering the Twilight Zone."
However, now that I can't accomplish all that I used to accomplish, I have a determination to do all of the work that I used to do. Is that natural? Is that Human Nature? I think that it is my own determination to survive.
"So what have you learned, Dorothy?" "That although I may not have known, I already had my heart's desire. That is to be myself, and not even Parkinson's can take that away."