I bumped into friends of my wife yesterday. They're my age and retired. The weather was in the low 50's and they were in down jackets, gloves and hoods. I wore an open sports jacket. When do we cross that barrier from youth to middle aged to seniors? This is not a chronological question, this is mental attitude.
I've known these folks for 18 years, they were old then. That's OK, that's how they are comfortable. I like the fact that I haven't accepted that I am middle aged. (What a euphemism. How many people live until 108?) I still want to run up and down a basketball court. (Friends who have known me for years are now laughing. I was always an unusually slow runner. I ran, a Telethon started. Somebody once said that it looked like I was running under water.) I still want to hit a baseball (That I could do.) I haven't mentally or emotionally accepted the fact that I am 54 or that I have a neurological disease. This too is OK. This is how I feel comfortable.
I don't particularly like what I do for a living , but I'll either find something that excites me or continue to do this. I've no intention of retiring. I can't see me doing nothing. Ideally what I always wanted to do was volunteer legal services for the ACLU, but I don't foresee a time hat I could forgo an income.
I don't know why, if I choose not to, that I have to get old. I know why physically and I know why chronologically, I just don't know why mentally.
Therefore, I will continue to laugh. I will continue to reminis about the wonders of youth and in my mind I will continue to be young.
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