Spaldeen

Do you remember Spaldings (known in my neighborhood as Spaldeens) and Pensy Pinkies? They were pink rubber balls, that were great for stickball and other games. My dad sold them for $.19. This past week I have been a Spaldeen. I've been bouncing off walls.

One moment I'm sad, the next I'm content (never reached elation), then back to sad again. Friday night, I never fell asleep. Sunday morning in the midst of a Parkinsonian dream, I fell out of bed. Last night was the best night's sleep that I have had in years.

I don't know if it's the pills, The Parkinsons or have I entered the Twilight Zone?

There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is in the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Parkinsonian Zone.

Submitted for your approval, Marc Sherman, an ethical if not too successful lawyer on Long Island. Life has always come easy for him. Too easy. So now he has entered the Parkinsonian Zone.

This is another dimension. Day after day, I never know what part of me will say, "I'm on strike today."?

Will it be my feet, refusing to sit flat on the floor. Or will it be my legs, shaking constantly. Or my knees, which crack and hurt, because my body mechanics have thrown them out of whack. My bowels, I leave this to your imagination. My arms, that don't want to swing. You should try this, it puts an enormous strain on your neck. Or my mind, that is constantly forgetting things. I am now starting to make lists. However, I forget where I put them.

I promise that this morose mood will end.

12/1/2014

Moods

The past couple of weeks I have been experiencing drastic mood shifts. I don't know if this is the Parkinson's Disease, The medication or just em that have caused these mood shifts.

It appears that mood shifts are not uncommon in Parkinson's. I feel that I am in touch with my Feminine side, I suddenly understand ladies an aspect of PMS. Let me tell you that this is the first side of a Female, that I don't enjoy touching.

Perhaps the changes in my mood and mental functions scare me more that anything else. This seems to compound itself. I get depressed or angry, don't recognize the cause and continue to get angrier and sadder.

This combined with problems sleeping have made me great company recently.

Now that I recognize this problem, I hope that I can deal with it, without additional pharmaceuticals.

11/29/2014

Tired

I think that I’ve hit a wall. Not literally but figuratively. By the way, did you know Webster’s dictionary has changed the definition of literally to include the common usage. That really stinks. What’s next, “irregardless,” or “supposebly.” ? Now where were we?. I was telling you about my wall, every so often I go through this, where I just get frustrated. Yesterday was one of those days.

I’m just tired of all the shit. I’m tired of every day my body doing less and less. Tired of my once photographic memory being shot to hell. Tired of thinking is not the same person I was eight years ago. I want to get up tomorrow, and not have to get up at half-hour early, to take a pill. I want to know what I’m like off of the medication.

I imagine that everybody goes this frustration. Somehow that doesn’t make it easier. I’m tired of faking a good mood so that everybody else can feel better. Tired of sitting up here alone in his office every day.

Yesterday I did hit the wall. I’ll bounce out of it. Always do.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Frankly I have everything to be thankful for. A majority of the world suffers far more than I do. Will be with my family, having the traditional Thanksgiving dinner, chicken Parmesan and spaghetti.

11/26/2014

Word Recognition Software

Because it's sometimes easier for me to stand, I have found the wonders of word recognition software . However, one must be very careful with this. One time a friend asked me how my leg was feeling. A little background: it seems I had torn a muscle in my left calf while walking in Manhattan in April. I answered this friend that the pain was almost gone. What is software picked up was that the penis was almost gone. Imagine the look on this friend's face , when she read that. The moral of the short story is always reread anything before you send it out.

Self discipline

Self discipline has never been my strong suit. Yes it's true that not only have I never smoked a cigarette, I've never even held one in my hands, (That's not discipline, it's brains.) I quit pot on the third or fourth try (If I wanted to be "wasted" I'd root for the Mets.) I've only been drunk once (Simon and Garfunkel in Central Park.) and I didn't jump from bed to bed (This was not a choice. On the Basketball court I couldn't go to my left, in a pick-up bar, I couldn't go to my right or left.) my weakness is eating.

Nathan Hale said "Give me Malomars or give me death!." John Paul Jones said, "My only regret is that I have but one slice of Pizza to give for my country. I ate the other seven!" Abraham Lincoln said "four score and seven donuts ago..." Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, "The only thing that we have to fear is no Haagen Daz." Ben Franklin said "Early to bed, Early to rise, gives you the first shot at the leftovers."

Gluttony and Parkinson's disease, not a good combination. last night we took a dear friend out for his birthday, and despite having timed my Meds well, I could not control the shaking. I had overeaten during the day. Proteins often block the dopamine. Despite loving red meat, I haven't touched it in 2 11/2 years. I rarely show the same, or any discipline with other foods. Last night this resulted in, what may have been, the physically most uncomfortable evening that I've ever had..

So despite all of these iconic quotes, and despite my Patriotism arising from these heroes, I again turn to Lincoln for inspiration, "You can eat some of the cookies, some of the time, but you can't eat all of the cookies all of the time."

11/10/2014