It has gotten to me

It has gotten to me.

I've been irritable and grouchy.

My always caustic tongue has at times been cruel.

This must stop immediately. As my father used to say, "Watch what you say, because once it is uttered, you can't take it back." He also said " What the hell are you doing in there?" We'll address the first one today, and save the second for some other time.

This isn't me. Yeah, I'm sarcastic, I come well armed to a battle of words, but I'm not cruel.

I guess that I'm just tired. I'm tired of shaking, I'm tired of dragging my foot, I'm tired of not remembering all of the things that I'm tired of.

I'm not a spiritual person. To me religion has often been a punchline, but I do wonder why, if this is God's will, I wasn't disinherited.

Note to self: Cut the shit!!

 11/2/2014

The Unseen Benefits

Are there any benefits to having Parkinson's Disease? It can't all be bad. I believe in looking at the bright side of life, ergo (a word that I learned in Law School, which I believe is restricted to use among lawyers. If anybody else were to use it he or she would be charged with being pretentious without a license.) today I dedicate this post to what Parkinson's has done for me.

1) If the Peppermint Twist ever comes back into vogue, I would be a star on American Bandstand. What? What is that you say? They canceled American Bandstand! Curses foiled again.

2) I can save a lot of quarters by not using those vibrating machines attached to the beds in those old Catskill hotels. What? What is that you say? They no longer have those machines? They no longer have those Hotels? Where does Jerry Lewis hang out?

3) all of my friends believe that because of my stone face I am doing a great Buster Keaton impersonation. What? What is that you say? Who was Buster Keaton? No not the kid with the dog in the shoe. That was Buster Brown. Not her either, that;s Diane Keaton, Did you hear me say "Lah-di-dah?" Nobody remembers this comic genius.

4) I mix a great Egg Cream, What? what's that you say? No! you don't need an egg for an egg cream! They don't make those anymore. Maybe I can start a trend.

So what are the benefits to having Parkinson's Disease? Maybe someone can learn enough from me to cure the next guy.

10/30/2014

PPAC

The next two days I will be meeting with "The People with Parkinson's Advisory Council" of the Parkinson's disease Foundation. This is my last year on the council. I like to say that I made a difference, but the truth is, they made a difference for me.

These are vibrant, active people. Despite the Parkinson's none of them feel sorry for themselves. They have taught me a lot, just by being there.

I'm going to miss these people, they mean quite a bit to me. Tom, Fred, Linda and Karen whose leadership kept the council running smoothly. Maria and Elaine, the Texas Neurologist and the New England Nurse, whose compassion and dedication have make be proud to know them and even prouder to call them my friends. Peggy and Steve have already left, but left an indelible mark upon me, Nan, who Bicycles across Iowa and climbs Mt. Kilimanjaro. I can't mention everyone, but they all have taught me that this is not a handicap.

These meetings energize me, and these people have become a part of me.

10/15/2014

Parkinson's->inactivity->boredom-> depression

One of the ancillary problems connected with Parkinson's is the boredom. I rarely go to the office, so I rarely have people around me. Once I enter my home office, I check my mail, and then go to the local bagel place for coffee. This is like a non-alcoholic cheers. Everybody knows my name. The same guy sits in the same seat each day. There is an ignorant "know it all." The day thatI enter and the all yell "Marc," is coming.

Then back to the office to redo the same work that I did yesterday. I always had bad work habits, but now they are non existent. Never a truer statement was made then "if you want to get something done, give it to a busy person."

It is a direct line Parkinson's->inactivity->boredom-> depression. If I can give any advise, keep busy. It makes you happier and healthier,


10/8/2014

The shutter broke

It's been a rough few weeks. Not that I've deteriorated, I don't believe that I have, I'm just very frustrated and a little angry about the whole thing.

I miss me!! I miss the guy who would have reveled in Derek Jeter's hit last night. I miss the guy who on a beautiful fall weekend would go for a walk in Central Park. I miss the guy, who enjoyed his own company. I'm just frustrated. I've conquered this before, I'll conquer it now.

What frustrates me most is that my memory is slipping. I had a nearly photographic memory. It seems that the shutter broke. If my mind is slipping, that would bother me more than my body deteriorating

Oh, fuck this self pity, I'm going for a walk.

9/26/2014