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Sunday, December 7, 2014

The Unseen Benefits

Are there any benefits to having Parkinson's Disease? It can't all be bad. I believe in looking at the bright side of life, ergo (a word that I learned in Law School, which I believe is restricted to use among lawyers. If anybody else were to use it he or she would be charged with being pretentious without a license.) today I dedicate this post to what Parkinson's has done for me.

1) If the Peppermint Twist ever comes back into vogue, I would be a star on American Bandstand. What? What is that you say? They canceled American Bandstand! Curses foiled again.

2) I can save a lot of quarters by not using those vibrating machines attached to the beds in those old Catskill hotels. What? What is that you say? They no longer have those machines? They no longer have those Hotels? Where does Jerry Lewis hang out?

3) all of my friends believe that because of my stone face I am doing a great Buster Keaton impersonation. What? What is that you say? Who was Buster Keaton? No not the kid with the dog in the shoe. That was Buster Brown. Not her either, that;s Diane Keaton, Did you hear me say "Lah-di-dah?" Nobody remembers this comic genius.

4) I mix a great Egg Cream, What? what's that you say? No! you don't need an egg for an egg cream! They don't make those anymore. Maybe I can start a trend.

So what are the benefits to having Parkinson's Disease? Maybe someone can learn enough from me to cure the next guy.


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